


Memories

by Jessica23



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - The 100 (TV) Fusion, F/F, Inspired by Music
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-09-17 06:13:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9308858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessica23/pseuds/Jessica23
Summary: I was inspired by Within Temptation – Memories. This beautiful song helped me to write this story of Lexa and Clarke’s love. Though the loss of our beloved Commander has left our lives, she will forever remain in our hearts as well as Clarke’s.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I know lot of people love the Clexa ship and everyone was disappointed when Lexa died on s3e07. I know I was pissed off to say the least. That’s why I’m writing this story about Clarke and her journey through her memories with Lexa. There will be no names written in the story, and that it will only be a one page story.

I remembered. The first time I saw you, you were in a large tent surrounded by other tents and warriors just outside, ready, so eager to fight us, my people, your enemies.

I entered the tent so nervous about meeting you, I almost forgotten how or why I was there. Not knowing if my presence there would get me killed, so many of my people were against it. But I was running out of options, I had to save my friends, I had to save everyone.

Once inside I saw you there, sitting at the far end of the larger tent surrounded by your generals. You sat there in an antler throne playing with your dagger in your hands, but you didn’t look to me. Like if you sensed if I was there even though I didn’t make a sound, you spoke to me for the first time.

You were very cold hearted when you spoke, so demanding, so in control, like nothing else matters. Your eyes spoke for you as well, so very stoic when you finally looked to me. Dark eyes on my skin like if you were going to kill me if I didn’t give the right answer.

You asked if I killed your warriors, and I answered with a response that made you look straight at me without turning away.

You asked if I had an answer to something, a reason for being in the same room as you. I told you that we can help each other because you were fighting a wrong enemy all this time. I convinced you that I help a fellow warrior of yours, someone important, someone who was trying to send a message to you until she died at my side.

Losing all hope, I thought the only person who can help me was you and that I had to meet you.

I told you that the enemy of your people has taken mine as well, but instead of keeping them in cages like your people, using their blood to heal themselves, my people were trapped with nowhere to leave.

I also told you that they were turning your people into monsters and I was told that the only way to save them was to kill them, but I had another position. You were curious enough to know more but your generals disagreed. They begged you to let them kill me because they believed I told a lie, and I didn’t. I even said that I cured a warrior of your clan who was seen as a traitor. You stopped your generals from killing me and told me to prove my worth.

I took you to the traitor but once we got there he died. From there you had no other choice but to attack, however one of my own revived him, curing him from the monster he turned into.

From there, I slowly began to gain your trust. I gave you the knowledge to cure your people but you wanted something in return as a way of accepting a peace treaty between us. You wanted one of my own people. The reason being is that he massacred 18 of yours. Women, men and even children. The only way to have peace is for him to be killed, you told me. However, my heart couldn’t bear the thought of sacrificing the boy I cared for. Some were against it, others were not. I tried to avoid that, tried to avoid more bloodshed but there was no other choice, instead of your people, I was the one who had to take the burden of murder.

Shedding tears for him, I haunted everyone around me. My friends slowly turning away, the pain I felt hurt but I had to stay strong for them even if I get blood on my hands, I was their only hope for peace. Their only hope to get the rest of them out of harm’s way.

 _Love was weakness_ , you told me when you spoke of a girl you once cared for. If that were so then why, why would you kill to protect me?  Why would you agree to my action even if you don’t like it? Why choice to save me instead of everyone else who were killed by a missile? Why advise me on being a leader to my people when you barely know me? Why stand by my side when the world is going to hell?

So many questions so little time to answer. I remember you tried to kill a friend of mine because you found her to be a threat. But I stopped you from doing so. You don’t trust us, you never did.

If you’re willing to go to hell and back with me, why couldn’t you trust me?

We understand each other, young leaders holding the faith of our two people in our hands for the good of our people we are the ones in control of their future, and yet I couldn’t see that. Somehow you could and you believe what you do, even if it means to kill those you don’t trust, is for the benefit of the people alone. A true leader understands that. And tried to teach me.

An army of two different people were ready, ready to take down their most feared enemy, but somewhere along the line you’ve managed to understand me. You’ve managed to share your feelings to me and me alone. You’ve admitted that _not everyone_ died in that village, _not me_. Your own words. But you were still afraid to admit that you trusted me, until later right before out kiss. But I wasn’t ready to be with anyone yet and you understood and you didn’t force me into it.

The war was starting and we all gathered to the front door of our enemy. Everyone is position, ready to attack but we were ambushed from above. The door didn’t open for a few seconds until finally after booming it. Shooters still on the roof and marched in to take them out while having one of your own protect me yet again.

After the shooting, you’ve returned only to inform me that you’ve made a deal with your enemy and you’ve left us to die. You left me to die. You were even apologizing to me and you left in a hurry.

I felt so betrayed because I thought we had a connection, an understanding but I was wrong and I had to be the one who brings your enemy down.

As I entered, my friends were turning against me because of my trust in you and after finding the enemy leader, his son was experimenting on my people for their own cure. To even go so far as to kill them and had no choice but to kill them instead.

I have once again become an enemy to my people, my friends losing all hope in me. But I did what I had to, I had to save them because no one else would. No one else didn’t cared.

Leading them back to our camp I said my farewells and traveled alone.

For three months, I was on my own, fending for myself with no one telling me what I can and can’t do. Haunted by my own nightmares of the past, I still saw the dead bodies of those who’ve died at my hands. They haunted me as I’m awake and they haunted me as I slept. I became a symbol of fear, a commander of death. I even tried to change my identity to fit the profile. But that didn’t stop you from finding me. Bounty hunters were after me from every part of the world, even your worst enemy. They all believed that if they killed someone of death, they will take that power and use it for their own rule.

However, I was smart. I was in hiding for months and no one has found out who I really was. Until you sent a man from one of the coalition to come after me, a very determined one who only wish was to be lifted from banishment and returned to his clan.

When I fought back, he still caught up to me. He was very impatient with me and he’d do anything to collect his prize, even kill his own people to do it. One of my own tried to save me, but I ended up saving him instead, and I was taken to the city, blindfolded by a bag and tied up like a slave for sale.

As he took me to the city I could hear the voices of your advisers speak to you. The man who brought me put me to my knees and took off the blindfold, it was too bright and I couldn’t see, but then you stood up and blocked the sun coming from the window behind you. You greeted me and called me by name, that is where I find disgust. You saw I’m face scared and full of dirt, you came up to me and talked to the one who brought me in, asking if you’d lift his banishment but you refused and sent him away.

Your attention came to me, having your advisers leave you told your guards help me up. You took the cloth off from my mouth and told me that you were sorry and that you needed my help.

But all I can feel for you, about you, no words could have described how I felt that day except for that I hated you. I hated you for everything you’ve done to me, what you’ve caused me to do. I spit in your face and yelled saying that you were a bitch, saying that you wanted the commander of death then you have her and that I’d kill you. The guards took me away while you stood there listening to everything I’d said, you did nothing to stop me just like you did nothing at the mountain. All you did was turn away from me to look at the window.

You wanted to speak with me but I told you that I wanted nothing to do with you, and told you to go away. You respected that, at least for a week. You came to me again, talking about what happened at the mountain how I’m haunted by the things I’ve done, what I had to do in order to get my people back, and I told you the death were on you as well, of course the only problem was that you had no honored I had no choice.

You told me what I would’ve done if the roles were switched, if I was in your place and I told you, I don’t betray my friends. You told me that it helped no one to think about the past, and that you came to me for something. I told you that I didn’t want nothing from you but you were so president that it couldn’t wait, said you wanted my people to join your coalition, but the only everyone of yours can exception was for me to bow down to you.

I took it as a joke and said that if you wanted the power of Wanheda you’d have to kill me because I’d never bow to you. I knew the reason. I made you look weak in front of your people and that your enemy was going to exploit it.

The man who brought me in was member of the enemy you hated, a prince no doubt. He said that you turned away from a deal you made with him and that he wanted to kill you for it. He even gave me a knife in order for me to do it because I was the only one who could get close enough to do it.

I called you into my room to talk and as you got closer I put the knife to your neck. You didn’t flinch however, like if you know that day would come, the day that your spirit would leave to find another, after the constant crap I told you about leaving your spirit right where it is. There we stood, my knife to your throat ready and waiting for the blood to spill but as we looked into each other’s eyes we both felt something different. You felt sorrow and I felt hate. You said that you were sorry and from there I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t take your life, even though it would have felt good to finally pay you back for everything you’ve done to me to rob me of my innocence.

I turned away, not wanting to look at your face, as I dropped the knife you spoke, you told that you never meant to turn me into what I became and told me that I was free to leave because my mother was in the capital waiting. But I stopped you, and told you that I had a better plan.

I soon saw my mother and explained what we’ve discussed, she didn’t agree and I told her the only way for your coalition to except us was for me to bow before you.

When the time came everyone of coalition members were there including my own people, and there was music coming for the singer, and made my entrance, wearing the clothes one of your people handed to me. My hair was washed and combed, and I had on war paint on my face the kind many of your people wear. As I got close you looked like you were out of breath, and was shocked to see me bow before you, the other clans bowed as well and when my people bowed you’ve announced that they are the newest members of the coalition.

Of course, there was a complication as to a friend of mine barged in loaded with weapons and assumed the summit was an ambush. He was lied to and was sent away in embarrassment after hearing that the same mountain we fought against was destroyed by a bomb with my people still inside. He wanted me to go with him but as the new ambassador of my people I had to stay in the capital. He also told me that you were the reason why my people were so at edge with you, because you left us to died and you’d put your people first before anything else. I told him that I was sorry and he left.

At night after everything calmed down, I was alone with you, trying to figure out what happened, you said we’d get the answers soon and said that you were glad that I stayed, I only said that I was going it for my people to which you correctly said our people. Then it hit me again and I was crossed, I knew something was up and got to your face and said that if you were to betray me you’d know what I’ll do. You said that you wouldn’t and before I knew it you were bowing before me saying that you will swear fealty to me and that you promised to treat my needs as your own and my people as your people.

That I was dreaming, but then again, I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in months. I saw the seriousness in your eyes, I also saw the sadness within them, I’ve always told you, you were smart but I never thought you would be so weak with me even after our kiss that day. You would always have a serious face around everyone including me, your expression never changed however your eyes would always give you away, behind the strong commander of now 13 clans you would always have a kind and sensitive look towards me and me alone. Perhaps it was your way of reminding yourself of who and what you once lost. Happiness.

I took your hand and pulled you up, we stood face to face in the room without saying a word.

It was time for the summit and I was made an ambassador for my people, many others were there too, including the man who brought me here. You soon called for the accused, and within moments the woman you’ve hated the most entered the room in chains. You asked for my opinion on her attempt and I responded to the truth, that my people demanded justice. Unfortunately, the woman did not take it well and called for a vote of no confidence, soon everyone joined her after your adviser demanded you execute the betrayers but you stopped him and allowed her to speak. The woman claimed that you were unable to lead and called for a challenge, her son against one of your own. To my surprise, you choose yourself to fight saying that you’re was the commander and that no one fights for you.

The meeting was soon over, and I only had I moment to speak to you. I found you surrounded by kids no older than thirteen, discussing the lessons of what makes a true commander. Your adviser stood next to me, and I asked if there was a way to reconsider the fight, and he said that there wasn’t and even if there was it would be seen as weakness. He said that you have no choice but to fight.

He excused the children out to continue their training but you pulled one over to the side and introduced him to me. You said that he was one of the most promising of the group and that if you were to died he would take your place. I got worried about it, a boy barely an adult was going to be the next commander of the coalition. Telling him a single question, he responded with the truth, that when he becomes commander he would pledge his loyalty to the 13th clan, my people. You then dismissed him and I was a bit angry, you however were calm.

I argued about it but you made it clear that if you were to died today I needed to excepted it. Of course, I won’t have excepted it. I _just_ got you back, trying to give us a chance to make amends and now all of a sudden, you’re planning your own death, giving the responsibility of the commander to a boy. Obviously, I wasn’t going to let that happen.

I got out of the room and went straight to where that woman was kept in, she apparently was eating at a table and had another girl with her serving a drink. She greeted me but I simply wanted to get down to business, if I were to change my vote she told me that I was thinking like a leader of my people but I wanted to be sure on the terms before we agreed. The woman had told that my people will be safe and her fight was only for you.

Together we’ve cut our hands in a blood oath, I cut first but when I gave the knife to her the girl grabbed me and sniffed out my devious plan to poison her. She then later told me that when she kills you my people will not be safe and the girl with her with black blood that poured on my face will be the next commander.

I came back to you showing the evidence on my face and you refused to back down. You told me goodbye, I thought you meant forever but you only said for now and left with your advisers.

That very same day the crowd gathered to witness the fight between you and her son, the man who took me into the capital. You were surprised to see me of course, and when the battle began you fought valiantly against him, double swords at your hands but he took you down and for a second I thought he would kill you but you manage to escape in order to him to the ground.

The woman threatens him saying that if you kill he would die a coward but for a brief second you murmured something in a low voice and used the spear to kill her on the stage. Everyone was in shock, but you announced that a queen was dead and that the king lives.

The crowd had cheered your name, your title. They worshipped you as if you were a god.

That night you came to my room in a nightgown, I was ready for the I told you so but that never came out of your voice. I bandaged your wound and we talked for a while until I told you goodnight as you did the same and left me to my own thoughts.

The next morning, we sent out to my people’s home with the body of the woman you killed. On horseback, we’ve talked about whether my home was the same home I left months ago. You told me that I left a hero to my people and today I bring the body of queen, that I bring them justice. I corrected you saying that you bring them justice, of course you countered by saying that we bring them peace.

We became silent for most of the way, you kept smiling at me and I did the same, that ended when we saw the bodies of many warriors you sent to people my people. All of them dead. No one was alive except for one wounded leaving a message to you saying that the land was theirs now.

You called upon a war sending your armies to attacked but I try to reason with you and you ordered your men to stop me saying that I’m a prisoner. I had to try to help, to find out what happened.

Within moments one of my friends came, and told us what happened, that a new chancellor took command and killed everyone. I couldn’t believe that there had to be more. My friend had a plan to get me inside.

I found my friend’s brother and we’ve talked but instead it turned into an argument, reminding each other of the past that destroyed us all. He tricked me by trying to turn me in but that plan failed when his sister saved me and we’ve escaped together. We’ve made it back and it was dark, we’ve spoke about how to deal with them, to go to war or to leave it alone.

You’ve thought hard, harder than you’ve ever thought possible. You have always chosen to avenge your people of their murders but you never once considered to let it be. Until you chose.

Blood must not have blood.

We then retreated to the capital, for the first time we’ve relaxed peacefully as if nothing from the outside world meant nothing to us. You’ve slept so peacefully, the first time I’ve seen you so calm. I got back into my habit and decided to draw you but then woke up from a nightmare and told that it was a warning of something bad. The way of your people has always been in blood and death, only this time it would be peace. You took one look at my drawing and I was sheepish to said the least.

One of your advisors came to us with a message from the king, and within shock I saw a man I thought long dead. He attacked me and was sent away. You called me to the throne room to decide the man’s fate, and I agreed with your advisors, but you were not looking for advice. It was up to me to decide but I only had until sundown.

It was neither sundown, and I meet the man I once thought dead, and he was not pleased to see me, remaining me of the deaths that I took. I knew I am guilty for it, but so was he.

Soon your advisor came to me in my room, we’ve talked about the new way for both our people. We both had certain reasons why it was difficult to except. He had said that he feared for you and your death, but I couldn’t go back to the way things were. We have always been at war with each other, what was so wrong with having peace?

That night everyone gathered in the throne room. The man was tied on a post. You announced the people and gave me the knife, but I refused to do it. Everyone was shocked that I didn’t kill him, I didn’t deserve it. I gave this man life and he was sentenced to banishment, haunted by his past, the last of his kind. He will live forever.

The very next day was the day of an ascension but it was interrupted by a few people from your clan. They came in with my friend as a prisoner and claimed that she was responsible for the village being destroyed by my people. You were angry, your advisor argued about the new way, you wanted my advice and I gave it to you. I agree with him but I wanted to let my people figure it out for themselves, to take back the leader for peace. You’ve ordered your people to set up a block aid against them and if they were found outside of it there were sentenced to a kill order.

One of your people didn’t like the decision and tried to attack you but you were saved by the very man who advised you to kill.

I meet with my friend not too long after, we’ve talked trying to decide on what to do. I went to talk with you and you sat on the floor at the foot of your bed, like if you were praying or something, I’ve wonder how we’ll decide on the order you gave but we were interrupted again. I left you two to talk, he obviously doesn’t like me with you, saying that love was weakness and that I’d be paying a price for the death of the one you once loved. You argued and shouted, your duties and feels were separated, that was how you lead.

My friend asked me if I was going with her, but I had to stay. I didn’t know why, but I had to stay for some reason.

I came into your room again and you looked beautiful with your hair unbraided and brushed to the side. I told you that I was leaving and you nodded. You wanted to say something important, something you really wanted to say but you couldn’t. We’ve said our farewells and for a brief moment we’ve kiss again. Emotions was clouded, has this been the last time we will see each other again? Would we ever see one another? We’ve been so much to one another it was hard to say goodbye without having some sort of emotional breakdown. You’ve guided me to your bed and for a moment we stood silent, if this were to be the last time might as well make the most of it.

We’ve made love.

After we just laid in bed, you had your back to me and I trailed my fingers on your tattoos, I was interested in the back tattoo, it was beautiful and you told me what it meant, but we’ve stopped talking and kissed instead.

I returned to my room after the hours of passion, and I found your advisor and one of my friends tortured and tied to a chair. The older man was crossed and pointed a gun at me, I calmly try to speak with him but he started shooting. Apparently, you heard the commotion and raced to me only to find yourself in the line of fire. He shot you, you’ve bled and I tried to save you.

I desperately tried to save your life but you were losing too much blood and it was too late. For all the grief of all the sorrow of all the pain that I have endured three months ago, after the fall of the mountain, after I murdered my friend, when I mourned my best friend, when I lost a few of them, when I lost my father, I had never felt so much pain in life when I lost you.

I had wanted you, I want you, and you said that the next will protect me but I didn’t want that. I just wanted you. There were so many things I’ve wanted to say to you, so many words but I had little time. My heart has been shattered into more than a million pieces, and it was all my fault. I should have seen this coming, I should have known.

I still couldn’t believe it, you spoke of an assassin from your dreams, the warning the fallen commanders spoke of, and you were right. An assassin was meant to kill you. I just never thought it would be him, your advisor.

He tried to convince us to leave the capital but I was upset with him and demanded to see the children you trained. I saw them in the throne room by your grave alter, mourning your death.

I confronted the children and they explained that they will keep the promise they’ve made to support my clan. They’ve admitted their love for you. A disturbance came from behind the door and the king and that girl came through and she attacked me, she admitted in killing my people if the spirit of the commander chooses her.

We followed the advisor to the sacred temple of the First, and I saw the chip that was cut from your neck. I didn’t know if you were really inside it. He explained that you were the strongest and the wisest of them all, even before your ascension. The victory horn was sounded the most shocking event had occurred, the children were murdered and the girl of snow sat in your chair covered in black blood.

The king quietly helped us escape, he claims that he’ll support her because she was his people, a member of his clan. But I couldn’t leave without the chip, I couldn’t let her take it. You were not leaving me. Not that easy.

We snuck back to the sacred temple and I entered to get it. I was confronted by the advisor again he claimed that I killed you but it he who pulled the trigger. I told him that she couldn’t take the flame there would be no stopping her if she did. Your spirit would never choice her. He spoke of another who can take it but she fled the first time. He told me the name after the girl left with my friend. I told him where I could find the other girl and he then made me the guardian of the flame.

Once I was ready I set out with the flame in hand, I heard the horn from the tower and it burned red. For some reason, I knew something bad happened, but I had to keep going. I had to get far away to find the next. A rightful warrior to take the flame.

I traveled so far, too far that I didn’t stop to eat or rest. It was dark, too dark to follow the path but I was getting close, I saw the lights, to my home. Thought that I was returning to a friendly environment, someplace I knew once before but I was wrong.

When I got there a friend of mine was in a rover trying to leave, I asked him where my grounder friend was that I needed to see him but he told me that he was dead suddenly my people started shooting at us and we’ve escaped in a hurry with another friend who was unconscious in the back.

We’ve drove to the cave where the others were and we took my unconscious friend inside and he explained what happened to the rest in my home. She tried to escape as soon as I showed them the flame, but she was giving sedative to put her back into unconsciousness.

I knew was had to leave, the other would follow and find us if we stayed. So, we went back to the place where the king first found me. Driving up to the hut, we were greeted by a female grounder who kept me feed and clothed for three months. She did not like happy to see my friends. I got out with my once co-leader asking for shelter, but she didn’t want them inside. We had to hurry. We took my friend to the back of the hut and tied her up to the bed. She didn’t know where she was and she tried to struggle to get freed.

With the grounder's help, we’ve decided on a plan to get her better. She tried to free herself by hurting herself. She claimed that she will give back my friend if I give her what she wanted.

I thought I was speaking to my friend but it turned out to be someone else. Someone I didn’t know until my friend told me who it really was. I refused to give the flame to her and if my friend dies, she never gets it.

My bound friend relaxed and I fixed her wounds. She spoke to me, I thought it was that mysterious woman but it was my friend. She told me what it felt like, if I had seen the faces of the ones I’ve killed. She reminded me of everyone I’ve killed, she mentioned my best friend; she mentioned a small lonely girl; a boy I once loved; my father; but when she mentioned you I snapped. She said that my mother was inside her, telling that I was wrong in going public with what I knew before we were sent to the ground.

She bites me. I threaten her.

My co-leader took me away from to breathe. I lowered my guard and she got to me. Everyone and everything I did and knew, I was blamed for it. My guilt caused some of my friends to break and distrust me. Even I didn’t trust myself.

The device was nearly complete, we just need some power to start it. We had to help my friend, we had no other choice. She tried again to get into our heads and she went after the memory of the girl I killed in the mountain to my friend but my co-leader stopped him and he left. It was soon him and her, reminding him of what happened in the past, what he did some days ago, the army you’ve sent to protect my people, he was responsible for killing them. The grounder girl came to him, and I was too late. The others were coming.

My co-leader went outside in rage, she came to him, he said that he just wanted to protect our people, but by destroying hers; your; it was not the way to go. He apologized and she refused to accept it. My other friends returned and we had to leave.

As soon as we connected the device to my friend, we didn’t have enough power so we used the rover. With it we’ve fried her brain. I thought we’ve killed her too but she was alive, she just didn’t wake up. My friend tried to destroy to flame but I stopped him saying that you were inside, from there I had an idea on how to get the chip she swallowed out. I cut open her neck and she was ok.

The flame was ok.

We had to move, again. It was getting frustrating. One place safe to another, it’s like there’s nowhere safe anymore. Everything we’ve done, we’ve done it for our people, trying to play the good guys where there wasn’t any.

We soon found out that the mysterious woman from my friend’s head wanted to flame because it was the only thing to stop her. We had too. In order to save our people.

 We got to the rover and traveled back to our home, we’ve learned about the First commander and how she created the chip that is controlling our people, and that she also created the nightbloods, people with black blood like you and the children. So, once we got the place the gate was down and no one was around, the whole place was empty, a ghost town.

It was a good thing but also a bad thing.

Somehow, the flame was active with a phase that only the First knew. Suddenly, my friend and I were attacked by the man of the mountain. We searched for him with my co-leader, it became my fault. He attacked my friends by cutting the power and he killed one already. We were too late to save him, but the others would still be alive.

I had a plan but I needed my co-leader to take the flame away and found the last nightblood. He refused and joined in getting back our friends. I soon found him and he threaten to kill more if we didn’t do what he said.

He locked the door and had me at gunpoint. He was suffocating them in the air lock and wanted to take his time in killing me, but I took the advantage and used the flame to kill him.

He was right before, only those of nightblood can except the flame. Not those without.

In some weird way, you killed him. And he burst into flames from the inside, his eyes were melted and his skin crawled black.

I saved my friends yet again, and we paid our respects to those we have lost. The man of ground and the man of sky. We soon left, with a heavy heart. Few stayed behind.

We drove for hours, but we couldn’t find it. Until we heard water, we ran to it and found nothing. Until we found a way to send a signal to her. It was getting dark and still no sign of her. Until we got attacked by some men in the water, telling them that we seek safe passage and they gave us that. We found ourselves on a station in the middle of the sea, in daylight. And we’ve meet the last nightblood. I offered her the flame but she refused to take it. We found ourselves in a place where no one was killing each other, no blood, no war talks, nothing. Like this place was peaceful. The last nightblood granted us a way back to the main land and that our weapons will be waiting for us on a ship. My friends and I were thinking of a plan on how to put the flame in her head without asking, at least it was a plan, we were running out of options.

I meet her again, the last nightblood, she was teaching children how to fish. We’ve talked, about her, about how she ran, about what your advisor once said to me. Giving no choice I tried to use the flame on her and I was taken down and she said that she only left because of the fact that she killed her brother in the first round and then she was up against you because she knew she’s win, that’s why she fled. She took the flame with her.

We were about to leave when we were attacked by the mysterious woman and they locked us inside a crate and took the flame as well as the last nightblood. We stood there for hours until someone let us out, she had an arrow to her back and she died.

We’ve raced to help the last nightblood, apparently, she was being tortured and she killed someone she most care for. She cried for him.

Soon after we started a ceremony, she was going to take the flame, but it was a trick and we passed out and was brought to the mainland. With the flame in my hands.

Now what was the plan?

We found the rover and charged it. We were thinking of a plan, to find another nightblood, but they wanted to know if the other were okay back home. I took a walk, to think things through, I went back to the same place where we were attacked by that gorilla. When I was about to be attacked until I was saved by the very same man who took me to the capital.

He took the flame and my co-leader shot him and we took him back to our home where he was a prisoner. We weren’t sure if he was chipped too.

We talked to him, my co-leader and I, discussing on how we can get the flame to the fake commander, in order to erase the mysterious woman and her followers.

Packing our things and rode to the capital, with the king of snow and ice. Stopping near the tunnel to the capital, the king offered to take the flame to the fake commander and but I was going too. I wasn’t going to let it, let you, out of my sights.

He took me as a prisoner again and we’ve enter the city, the things I saw was not good, blood on the floor, no one around. Well, there were people but they looked like they were praying together. They woke up and surrounded us, until my people’s former leader came out instead of the fake commander.

We were ambushed. They shot the king and took me instead. Thy took me to the throne room and I was my mother but it wasn’t her. They put me on the stand and were going to torture me if I didn’t give them the passphrase.

I didn’t say anything, and they were going after my co-leader.

Unknown to my knowledge, my friends were coming up the tower. Which means that the mysterious woman needed another plan. They would use my mother to get me to talk. She was about to kill herself, I couldn’t, I can’t lose my mother too, not like my father. She choked on the rope, and I was saddened. I had to watch it happen.

My friends were here and our former leader killed the fake commander. My friends saved me and my mother and I had to save the fake commander but she was brain dead.

I used the machine to get my mother back to her normal self. It worked. She came back to me. She cried and said she was sorry, but it wasn’t her, I told her that.

My friends came and we made a plan, we didn’t have a nightblood, so we’ll use it in me. Use the fake commander’s blood and transfuse it inside me. We needed to do it fast because they were climbing up the tower. So, we got started on the transfusion. I sat in your chair; my mother outs the needles in me. The blood of nightbloods was going in, in some weird way it felt like an honor but this was not the time to play games. The flame was inside me. It hurts but I was fine. I know how to stop the mysterious woman, I needed the chip. My friends were worried. I wasn’t. I knew the flame will protect me.

I took the chip and I was brought to the city where the mysterious woman was. It was large, silent, strange, almost beautiful. There were people here, the ones from the outside world. But I thought I was being followed until I saw a friend.

There from a distance, I saw the sacred symbol of the first commander. But she kept disappearing, doing into something or someone else. I bled, I was losing time and I lost her, unfortunately the woman’s followers knew I was there and they were after me.

I was attacked by them on the stairs, until you saved me yet again. I was surprised and relived at the same time. You came back to me. I thought I would never see you again. Our fight was not over.

But something was wrong, I wasn’t going to make it but I did. I saw you again and we kissed. You told me that they would be coming after us, we had ten minutes, until we saw a little girl on a bike with the first commander’s symbol on her jacket. She led us to a gate but we were trapped by it.

My corrupted friend saw us, he confronted us. Until everyone found us, we were running out of options. Until a good friend of mine from the other side, in the real world helped us. She opened a portal, a secret door with _her_ symbol on it, the symbol of a bird. My corrupted friend tried to stop us but you hit him and the door was ours. The woman’s followers ran to us to try and stop us. I wanted both of us to go inside but you had to distract them, you were sacrificing yourself, I didn’t want that, I pulled on your arm and told you how must I care for you, how much I love you. You said that you will always be with me. It was the hardest thing I had to do, to leave you behind again.

I got inside and I meet the first commander. She told that I was the one to stop all of this. But the woman came to us again, she showed me what will happen if I stop it. That the world will be destroyed within six months. Trying to convince me that her world was safe from the outside, but I didn’t believe her, she was just a machine, an AI, she knew nothing of human feels, knew nothing of pain. Knew nothing of me.

I used the kill switch. I shut it down. I came back, to my world, I saved everyone. The flame was removed, I was ok, everyone was ok. Everyone looked like they have been in so much pain that they didn’t know how to feel anymore.

My co-leader could tell that I wasn’t ok, it may have looked like we saved the world, but it wasn’t true. At least not yet. I then remember the look on my friends face when she killed the man who murdered her love, the man, the grounder who had been at our side since day one. She looked like there was no light inside her anymore, which was probably the same way I felt when you first betrayed me.

I remembered everything.

As if it was like a fairytale, a dream, a nightmare. I kept thinking that it wasn’t true until I looked in my journal and saw everything that I have written from that dream. I kept looking at it as I sat on a log in an open field. I’ve read the journal more than fifty times in the past six months, and every time it gets worse and worse, and I felt so broken and I couldn’t finish it, because for some reason someone was in my light. I looked up and the person smiled at me, it was hard to tell because of the sun being in the way but I could tell she was smiling. She held her hand out to me and I closed my journal and took her hand. I could she was happy to see me because she looks a lot like you. And she knew where to find me, because this was the only place we’d go to have some peace and relaxation. No one knew about this place except you and me, which is the good thing about it because it’s the only time you’d be you and not the commander when we’re alone. As I took the hand, we walked in silent upon the open field because when I look back I think of that dream, some part of it wasn’t true and I’ve spent more than six months with you, walking in our field just being ourselves.

Together, forever.

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> This took me FOREVER to write and it was hard too. Later.


End file.
